hot bliggity blog 267

Monday, October 3, 2011

just thinking...

I once had a professor look at me, then look at my photography project on the wall, then back at me, then back at the project, then back at me and finally, after turning her attention from one to the other at least 16 times said this: 'I can see that it must be very difficult living up there in your mind.'  'FINALLY!'  I thought; someone finally understands that even I don't always understand what's going on inside my own brain.

My brain is ALWAYS working.  Ahem, let me rephrase that [I would hate to misrepresent myself]: my brain is ALWAYS working in the over-drive sense.  Whether or not it is ALWAYS working at 100% capacity is another issue altogether [some might argue that it is a 50/50 chance].  I have such good friends.  At least they're honest! seems like my brain NEVER stops.  It's always going in a million different directions, too.  If it was a one-track kind of mind stuck in 5th gear all the time I might be able to handle it.  Although 5th gear is pretty fast, at least it would all be going in the same stream flow of thoughts.  But mine doesn't work like that.  It's like I have 17 ping-pong balls [57 most days, 17 on a great day] pinging and ponging around in my head all at once, all the time.  Some are fast, some are slow.  Some are bright and flashy, some are deep and concerned.  Some explode into 11 more ping-pong balls, some never take form. Some are...


My dear friend Allen once said this about me, and I quote:
'Ellen, you have so many trains and tracks of thoughts...sometimes I don't know if you have too many trains for your tracks or too many tracks for your trains. You have trains head butting each other, ramming each other, trains flipping off the tracks. It may seem you've jumped 7 tracks, but, in fact, you have made a subtle and 'logical' switch on over all 15.'
We both died laughing when he said that as 1) it was not practiced, planned, or rehearsed and 2) it is probably one of the most, if not the most, accurate observation and description of myself that I have ever heard.

The other night I let out a huge sigh of relief as I got in between the covers of my freshly laundered bed and I wondered from what was I feeling such relief?  I hadn't had a long, tiresome day; no more than any other at least.  And then it hit me: it was almost like I hadn't filled up my 'Thought Quota' for the day and my mind was racing around at insane rates of speed trying to get the last few thoughts in before I shut my eyes to enter Dream World [which is again, another issue altogether].  I decided to try and record the thoughts that had flown in, out and around in the 5 minutes that I took to get ready for bed.  I am confident that I was able to recall at least 72% of them.  So, for your viewing pleasure:
  1. Aw, man!  I haven't put the sheets on my bed after washing them today...
  2. I need to brush my teeth--can't have sugars setting up camp on my teeth all night long.
  3. I wonder if I will actually get up when my alarm goes off in the morning.  I hope so....I get so much more done in the morning...Wow!  Where did that come from?!  I'm getting old...
  4. I need to go to the bathroom.
  5. Why am I so sleepy?
  6. Need to set my alarm...
  7. I'll fold the rest of the laundry in the morning
  8. I need to go find my phone & charger
  9. I love The Cosby Show
  10. My feet are cold.
  11. Bed!!!
  12. Clean sheets!
  13. Redeeming Love was such an awesome...
  14. My lips are chapped
  15. Tomorrow is Friday!
  16. I need to plug my charger & phone in.
  17. I should workout tomorrow...
  18. I love blogging...why does it take all I have in me to actually sit down to write?!
  19. I have an idea...
  20. Where is a piece of paper?
  21. ...A pen?
  22. What was I going to write down?!
  23. I wish I was kidding.
  24. My room's a mess...I'll pick it up tomorrow...
  25. Tomorrow...
  26. What are the chances of my losing 7 lbs by morning?
  27. I wonder if I'll have any cool dreams?
  28. My brain is always going, going,
  29. I sound like the Energizer Bunny
  30. I haven't seen him in a while...wonder if he's still going?
I need to stop now lest one of you decides that I am in fact insane and tries to institutionalize me....

Am I the only person who...


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