hot bliggity blog 267

Friday, February 24, 2012

awkward potty humor

I had a fairly long morning of researching building & plumbing codes to determine the number of toilet, urinal, & lavatory fixtures I needed to design for in the office building project that I am currently laying out.  An exceptional amount of awkward conversations seem to come up at architecture/design firms.  Like, 'Do guys prefer to have partitions between urinals?' or 'Can you see up my skirt if I have a 1" reveal between these panels underneath the bar?'.  And many, many more.  It's just something you have to get used to. If we didn't you ladies might be showing someone too much something under a table because we refused to address [no pun intended]an awkward conversation and/or role play.]

So, after a morning of discussing urinal counts & placements with my male co-worker I decided it was time for lunch break.  Not wanting to leave my urinals for longer than necessary I walked over to the Whole Foods to grab some lunch and bring it back to the office.  Along the walk, however, I decided that I had to go to the bathroom before shopping and eating.  All that bathroom talk this morning, I guess.

As I entered the bathroom I was aware of a girl also entering just behind me and from her pace and breathing I could tell she was in a hurry.  I took the second stall; she took the first.  Minding my own business I heard Stall #1's cell phone ring and then an excited, 'Hey!'  [***On a side note, it always amuses me when people talk on their phones while using the restroom, especially public restrooms.  Don't get me wrong, I do it, too, on occasion.  But how well do you have to know a person for them to be placed on your 'Accept While Relieving' list?  And why is it so awkward to talk to someone while taking care of business anyway?  It's not like everyone doesn't have to go every once and a while.]

Anyways, back in Stall #2 I realize that I recognize Stall #1's voice.  I could't place the voice immediately and had just decided that it was someone that I didn't know very well when I heard Stall #1 say, 'I talked to my friend Jeff and he said it was totally cool...'  'Jeff' triggered more of my brainwaves and a face belonging to Stall #1's voice started coming into focus just as I heard '...Yeah, Jeff said that he and his girlfriend, Ellen, would be up for it and it would be cool if we all meet up at his house.'  I'm not sure in which order this realization occurred: if Stall #1's face & name came to me because I realized she was talking about me or if the opposite occurred and I realized she was talking about me because I finally placed a face & name with Stall #1's voice.

However it happened didn't really matter as I quickly realized that this situation had the potential to become very awkward very fast.   I mean, what do you do in this situation?  What would you do?  I should also point out that until today I have only met Stall #1 once before in my life.  She is both one of Jeff's older brother's high school buddies and engaged to [at the time] one of Jeff's friends from college.  So she's really Jeff's friend whom I have met one time this past Christmas while I was doped up on major cold/sinus meds.

Exiting Stall #2 I paused just outside of Stall #1 and impulsively called, 'Sarah?!'  [I'm still not 100% certain that this is her name.]  Fortunately she was engrossed into her highly animated conversation and didn't hear me call her name.  OR she could have heard me & seen my feet and in the event that I did call the wrong name she now thinks that there is a Name-Calling Crazy loose in Whole Foods.

Proceeding on to the sinks I realize that a lady is looking at me strangely; she saw me stop and yell out, 'Sarah'.  Feeling the need to explain the bewildered look on my face & my seemingly erratic behavior I told her that the girl in Stall #1 whom I have only met one time is talking about my boyfriend & I.  Her response and solution was humorous to say the least: suggesting that I should stand approximately 2 feet outside of the Women's Restroom and say 'Hi!!!' when Stall #1 came out of the bathroom to scare her silly.

Realizing that any confrontation would make it even more awkward [Can you imagine, 'Hey, Sarah!  I heard you talking on the phone and I've been waiting 5 minutes for you to come out.'  ?!?!]  I left the bathroom in stitches and decided that when the moment comes that I do find out whatever it is that I will be cool with and when I will be cool with it I will tell her, 'Yes, I know; I've known since we went to the bathroom at the grocery.'

And, I kid you not, when I got back to the office, I found 12 of my co-workers standing around the just-delivered bar stools in observation.  The new, contemporary bar stools have polished chrome bases that measure 12" x 12".  Perfect for seeing reflections of things from the ground up if you know what I mean.  To test it, several people wrapped scarves/pashminas around their waists and walked around the stools.  Yep, no more skirts & dresses for us  unless we stand a distance greater than 4'-2" away from the stools.

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