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Wednesday, October 6, 2010

waiting for my 'Click'

I started blogging for many reasons--one being that I have a story to tell and know there are so many women (and men) out there who are experiencing many of the same heartaches and struggles that I am. One of my life’s goals it to help make a difference in people’s lives. It is my hope and prayer that you may find yourself somewhere between the lines of my story and know that you are not alone!

We all need encouragement, it’s been scientifically proven somewhere I’m sure. Today I wandered from my normal blog sites and came across Amy’s post about how God can change everything in an instant, a ‘Click’ moment; He alone can work miracles. I encourage you to also link up to her blog: http://www.dustyandamy.com or go there to read others’ stories of miracles and hope. My story is different from those on her blog, however; I am still waiting on my ‘Click’ moment. I know there are many of you in the same limbo. So, for those of you who do not know my story (and those of you who do!), here it is:

I was raised in a Christian home--I was that kid who started going to church 9 months before I was born. Like so many I knew the ‘right’ answers, all of the Bible stories and that when the doors to church were unlocked I was going to be there. I ‘knew’ church. I enjoyed it. It was the only think I knew. In no way am I ungrateful to God for putting me in a home that put Him first; the Lord only knows where I would be today if it weren’t for that.

But...

Also like so many brought up in the church, I wandered off for a little while. I went down several roads that I knew I shouldn't, made mistakes that were avoidable and allowed those who did not have my life and well-being in their best interest influence me. I knew better. I was miserable. Isn’t it funny how when we are miserable we press harder into the source of our miserableness and farther away from the One who is our Everything?

Thankfully I had many family and friends who never gave up on me and continued to pray for me. About 2 years ago I had an ‘Aha’ moment where I recognized that I could no longer do it on my own (recognizing that I was attempting to do life on my own was a hard step, too) and I went running back to Him. It wasn’t easy, talking to Him did not come so naturally and making time for Him took practice. And that is exactly what I prayed for for many months, ‘Lord, I want to want You; give me the desire to get to know You on a deeper, personal level.’ And He did! I am so thankful and look forward to everything He is going to teach me.

All those years of wandering and searching I thought I was ready to take on a marriage, a career, kids, etc. Looking back I can see that I was nowhere near ready for a Click moment. God knew what He was doing; imagine that! He knew that I was not ready for any commitments; I couldn’t even commit to Him! I am so thankful! This isn’t to say that I haven’t shed mine and your fair share of tears; none of it was easy. Sometimes God has to shake our world up to teach us.

With all of that said, I am still waiting on my Click. In this past month I have come to a place where I can honestly say that I am at peace with where God has me and am confident that one day, sooner or later, He is going to shake my world up and Click!

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